Hi.

Relax, I am not pregnant!

I just have been thinking about some things and I wanted to just write them in here maybe for better clarity for my own self.

I definately want to have ONE more child some day. Chris has his days when he does and when he doesn't, so I'd say he's about 50/50 on the subject.

We always said we wanted to have our children close together in age so they would be young enough to grow up together and be each others playmates but to have our first child old enough to be more self sufficiant.

Chris said something to me the other day that really got me thinking....he said that I make the most money between us (which is true) and b/c we just went out and bought a house, there is NO way I will be able to take a year (hell, even 3 months) of maternity leave if we have another child when we origionally said we wanted too.

{just FYI: we had said that when Paul turned 1, we would seriously discuss the possiblity and probably when he turned 1.5 we would start trying for number 2}.

I already feel jipped b/c I wasn't able to take my year the first time with Paul...I really enjoy the special bonding that happens between a mom and her child, especially in teh first year (or 7 months right now which is where I am at).

So, I know that Chris is totally thinking from a financial standpoint and he totally has a very good point. If I get pregnant when we said we wanted too, or even earlier, I would probably only be off long enough to have the baby and be back a week later.

Therefore, I figured out that things are going to be SUPER tight financially for the next 32 months (this month included). (21 months, this month included, and we will be done paying for Chris' schooling, and 32 months, this month included we will be done with our personal loan from when we were stupid and ran up credit cards, my schooling and bought a stupid air purifier that was a gazzillion dollars).

32 months from now is about September 2010. I will be 30.5 years old. Paul will be 3 years old.

That's not too bad...b/c 32 months from now, we will have almost one of my whole pay checks EXTRA above bills every month....we could afford another baby by then. (provided we don't get stupid in the mean time).

So, that technically means that if we wait until Paul is about 2.5 years old (like around xmas 2009) to start trying for number two, even if we got pregnant right away, we wouldn't give birth till September 2010 when our last tight payment will be, so I could take the year of mat leave off and things would be much better.

I just don't know if I want my kids 3.5 years apart though....that just seems really far apart...but I don't want to be stupid though either....

SO, unless we come into a good sum of money *cough for affect* that is probably the way it will be.

Its sad though, that our young stupidness is the thing preventing us from having another child and being able to comfortably afford him or her.

But, there is nothing I can do about that now.

*stupid*